so the other day someone was telling me about all the weddings they had to suffer through last summer, and their fear of the approaching season and its imminent and inexorable torture. and it occurred to me that i have never, and i mean ever, been to a friend's wedding. in fact, i've hardly been to any weddings at all. to the best of my memory (don't laugh!), i have only been to 3 weddings in my life, all family: my uncle gary's (when i was about 8; i was in fact the flower girl, how precious) and my uncle real's (i believe his third) and my sister's. and hm.... yep, i think that's it. well, i went to mine of course, way way back when i was in my early 20s, but let's not go there...
so then it occurred to me that all my friends are bachelors. some dedicated, some cursed, but throughout our short or long acquaintanceship, the staggering majority of people i know and love have been primarily single.
so what is it? are we too picky? do we have bad judgment? are we looking for the wrong thing? or are we just looking for something other than love altogether?
i'd like to say the latter, but among a majority of us bachelor-types, there are still the flailing attempts scarred by disappointment or broken hearts. it seems that even when we aren't looking for a romantic liaison, it hunts us down and when it knocks, most of us will answer - however cautiously or gleefully...
so, i wonder... is there something about us that draws us to each other? is it the same thing that repels us from romantic attachment? some sort of scent we give off that we just can't get enough of, but that non-fucked-up/asshole/moutarded love-potentials are utterly repelled by? a stench of aloofness accentuated yet with a pinch of unabashed hunger. or maybe it's a look in our eye, part disinterested, part flirtatious-curious, with an underlying texture of hopefulness, yet, beneath the unavoidable repulsion.
hm.
5 comments:
Whaaaaaaaa? eye rub eye rub
You were married? C'mon, spill the dirt, dish the dish! I'm gobsmacked.
Btw I had a gay olde thyme last Saturday night listening to sordid tales of the Séguin Sisters' past exploits... and here I thought you were the sole purveyor, provider of over-the-top libidinous delights and all things hedonistic! HA!
Must be in the jeans... ; - )
hunter - great name, lovely picture. so yea, i hear you. but like i said sometimes these dearest of mine will be ready, get all geared up and make that decision. but whether deciding eagerly or hesitantly, or not deciding, or just running headfirst into that mess we so tenderly call love, it ends up being disastrous, or melting away or... whatever. it just dies and they, we, always end up single.
i know there are people out there in the world falling in love and digging that commitment vibe and hey, zippy for them, truly - i have no problem with that. but it is interesting that although i'm certain none of us would include it in a list of "what do you look for in a friend," we're all steadfast bachelors.
and wig - so many stories, so little time... heh.
I believe that everyone searches for acceptance on some level, from other people. Marriage is probably the most readily accepted form of it. It is also a highlighted wrung on the "socially accepted ladder of life-events", propped up for most of us at birth.
Perhaps those who do not need it are enlightened. Perhaps they simply do not care. Rebellion is always a possible factor. Timing must be mixed in there too. Because, if I am not mistaken, it was only a few months back that LK seemed touched for a spell, hinting at a desire for partnering (if not in an accredited form).
I may be sewing a vest on a button there.
argh! i have a feeling people aren't understanding what i'm saying, and i'm feeling frustrated. sigh. ok, let me try again, hopefully with more clarity.
i'm not saying that we're better, or worse than married people. i'm not even saying we're pro- or anti-commitment. in fact, as i've said in the post and in my other response, for the most part we're all pretty open to hooking up, even if we're not out and out seeking it. and yet, we're all single and have been for most of our friendship.
i guess all i'm saying is that through some weird fluke, all of my closest friends have been single. coincidence? maybe. but it's a helluva coincidence.
but i do recognize that "ceux qui se ressemblent se rassemblent" - those who are alike tend to hang out. so breeders (sorry, procreators) tend to gather with procreators; married people tend to hang out with married people; so i guess single people hang with single people? and so does that mean that if i ever do get married again (this time, i hope for "real"), will i have to change friends, and start talking about, what, cheap wedding photographers!? cuz i'm tellin ya, reason #87 to not go there... hee hee.
but really, i was just musing on the fact that just about all the people i spend quality time with are not in a committed relationship. that's all, man!
as for me having recently been lured down that dark path, no kidding. and look where it got me... (grin)
miranda, you're too cute. if i'm not a bird of your feather, then i don't know what is. ok deal: if we're not married by the time.. what, i turn 50? (yea, i should be ready to commit in 20 years...)so may 6, 2024: it's you and me, baybee.
but now though i'm wondering: if i started climbing, would i be more susceptible to marriage? and is the fact that i've only been climbing two little (but glorious) times responsible for my stunted attempts at love since those experiences?? really, other than matt (who i was already with when i went climbing), i've enjoyed two brief and passionate train wrecks. hm...
ok, now i'm just being silly. (imagine that...)
Post a Comment